My sympathies to Michelangelo

25 08 2005

Last weekend I was volunteered by my wife to paint our living room, which I believe was last done in 1982. So yeah, it needed it… a lot.
Saturday started with Amy and I test driving the Toyota Matrix. I’m in love with this car, sadly the $18,000 price tag is $3,000 over what I’m budgeting to spend. Working in the auto finance field from a banks perspective allows me to know many inside loop holes, yet I’m still amazed at how much pressure a dealer is still able to inflict on a knowledgeable buyer such as myself. After I gnawed my foot off to get out of the trap in order to leave the dealership Amy and started our three day paint extravaganza.
Let me tell you this; Trading Spaces, While You Were Out, and all those other home improvement shows are full of S#!T. This was the most tedious, agonizing pain in the ass I’ve had to deal with in years. First we had to move all the furniture, re: chalk the window seals, apply the primer, which was the first real pain. By the time we started to use real paint on Sunday the walls looked horrible I don’t know why but the paint didn’t seem thick enough to cover all the brush and roller marks from the primer. Monday morning I decided to call in sick so I could finish the many coats of paint it has taken for my perfectionist mentality to be happy enough with the room.
And on Tuesday I rested, read comics, watched Sin City, and with the children to my mother-in-law’s, I spent some quality time with the wife.

Now That I’m back to work I wish I had another room to paint




4 responses

25 08 2005

If you want you can come over to my apartment…. and paint my ASS!!
I will have no part of any caulking though; I don’t swing like that baby.
What you have forgotten is that the people on Trading Spaces, While You Were Out, and all those other home improvement shows are hooked on Methamphetamines. This is what causes the extremely hyper, excited, and some times a little gay frame of mind that is needed when undertaking the “home projects” you see on television. I mean will you look at Paige Davis!! Lets just put aside the fact that I have a burning desire to lay my pipe on that ass, but if you look at her she obviously has some serious drug abuse problems. I personally am waiting for the E true Hollywood story!! I know because of the mass amounts of time I have spent with Paige Davis…Well I haven’t actually spent time with her per say, but I have a genuine feeling like she understands me. I do of course spend hours in her bed and I have in my possession at least 200 pair of her panties! Her sheets are so soft!! You couldn’t imagine how photogenic she is, even though she doesn’t even know I am there its like she is modeling just for me. I am sure this is due to mental link we share, I am sure of it. It’s so funny because if I put on her underwear, kimono, and make up we look a lot alike. Some times when I get all dressed up and talk to myself in her bathroom mirror its like we are hanging out. I am sure she feels me when I am gone, she knows she needs me but can figure it out. I really really want to help her with her drug abuse problem!! I think that maybe if we were to go shopping together we could talk and work out this problem. Last night I scooted my butt across her carpet naked like a dog in the grass, and now I get it. Do you know why dogs do it?? It feels good; this time was even more magical because of the love we share!! She came down the stairs and called the cops though, good thing I left that window open!! She is so funny, always playing hard to get.
Good job on the house though!!

25 08 2005

I know you said Paige Davis, but I know you mean Paulie Shore. You sick twisted bastard.

25 08 2005

How is it that you can see right through to my very soul!?!?! YES!! Yes, of course I meant Paulie Shore!! The way he sings “Lisa Lisa”, WOO HOO!! And you stand right there and build up the fucking nerve to tell me that “In the Army Now” isn’t the best damn movie ever made!!!! That whole thing with the camel at the end…. GENEIOUS!!! Who else would be secure enough with their own sexuality to cast Andy Dick as their costar? NO ONE!!! Yes I meant Paulie Shore and the only real reason I didn’t us his real name is because I didn’t want you all to know that he wears panties and kimonos! I cant just sit here while a hot, sexy, insanely lubed up, gorgeous, pill popper like Paulie Shore is on the face of the Earth without me as his life partner!!

P.S. I hate that little shit on “punked”, and if I find him I am going to tie him from the ceiling and Paulie (or Captain cac und balls as I like to call him) throw darts at his nipples!!!!!!

29 08 2005

“That is Brut I smell, you pervert!”

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