"Only you can prevent office fires."

31 08 2005

Let me tell you about my day.
My day is like a bear wondering into the campground. You don’t want to make eye contact because he’ll think you want to play, he doesn’t know his own strength and starts beating the living S#!% out of you.
Today is “month end” at work, so I need to finish as much of my work today so the monthly totals can be as high as possible, almost as high as management. My conundrum is this; my work isn’t finished by just me working on it, but I am the only one accountable for it not being done.




5 responses

31 08 2005
Neal B

Then it sounds like other people who contribute need to keep up or they may just have their car tires “accidentally” punctured. Or windshields “accidentally” broken.

31 08 2005
Baron Samedi

I had the same thing happen whilst I was going to the bathroom yesterday. You know the way…not enough Omega 3 fatty acids in my diets I suppose. On the flip side I have learned to develop my terribly beautiful singing voice and I have read a great deal. Place your hand under you desk and fly that bird high until the tendons running through your knuckle feel as if they are going to snap. Then breathe deep and get that bottle out of your right hand drawer. That’s why you brought it to work in the first place isn’t it? What? No bottle? Then it is time to grab onto the nearest female hooter you can and make a honking noise while you squeeze the hooter. I promise you that you that if you do this you will never be troubled by you current daily work again and you might just make a new friend.
This lesson in joy is over.
Remember “Month end” is just another way of saying…”Squeeze my hooter”.

31 08 2005

I’m love it when you put things in perspective for me man.

2 09 2005

Oh, how I miss that witty, um, wit of yours.
I’d like to do some hooter honking around my office, I can tell you that!
That, and possibly some beaver petting.

2 09 2005
Baron Samedi


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